Someone warned me when I was pregnant that I needed to prepare myself for a lifetime of guilt after I had my baby. Although I had no idea what she was going on about at the time- I can certainly do now!
As you would know all too well- becoming a Mum seems to attract an absolute onslaught of advice (unwanted or otherwise),
critical insinuations and downright harsh judgments on your parenting skills.
Whether you have actually invited or welcomed the comments or not- if you listen to them often enough and take them to heart, you’re going to find your more confused than a giraffe at the beach- simply because everyone does things differently. And unless you’re the kind of person that doesn’t give two hoots what other people think- you’re probably going to find that your confidence in your abilities to look after your baby will start to take a serious dive.
So the moral of the story here is to back yourself! Sure, do your research and gain advice from the right sources- but then make up your mind on what feels right for you and your baby and stick to it! After all, no one knows your situation or your baby better than you do!
We’ve all heard the saying, “I’m my worst enemy” when it comes to self criticism. In my experience self condemning thoughts multiplied tenfold in the months after I had my son. When it would take me more than five minutes to realise he was actually hungry, I’d think- I’m a bad mother. Oh my God, he was far too hot in that jumper, he must have been really suffering- I’m a bad mother. I really shouldn’t have left him cry for those 60 seconds while I ran to take a pee- I’ve probably made the poor little guy feel insecure! I’m a bad mother. Why did I think it was a good idea to bring that blanket- he’s obviously too cold. What a bad mother I am!!
If any of these examples (or all of them) are ringing bells for you- believe me- I feel your pain and your are definitely not alone!! There’s no easy answer or one-step solution to that problem I’m afraid. Again, it’s a matter of learning to back yourself and don’t worry, the more you work on backing yourself- the easier it gets. This is simply because, as you find that your actions and thoughts turn out to be good ones- you’ll realise that you were right to trust your instincts and so are likely to have more confidence in your own thoughts and feelings next time.
Besides, no matter how scary and challenging you may be finding being a parent (especially if you’re a new one!) at the moment; as long as you’re loving your baby and giving them your best- I can guarantee you that you’re doing a much better job of being a Mum than you think you are.
So go on, start backing yourself and before you know it, you’ll boost your self confidence and also notice that your happiness levels will be on the rise!
Have a Happy Day,