How to make a Happy Mum The Recipe: Backing Yourself.

 

 

Someone warned me when I was pregnant that I needed to prepare myself for a lifetime of guilt after I had my baby. Although I had no idea what she was going on about at the time- I can certainly do now!

Other people.

As you would know all too well- becoming a Mum seems to attract an absolute onslaught of advice (unwanted or otherwise),

critical insinuations and downright harsh judgments on your parenting skills.

Whether you have actually invited or welcomed the comments or not- if you listen to them often enough and take them to heart, you’re going to find your more confused than a giraffe at the beach- simply because everyone does things differently. And unless you’re the kind of person that doesn’t give two hoots what other people think- you’re probably going to find that your confidence in your abilities to look after your baby will start to take a serious dive.

So the moral of the story here is to back yourself! Sure, do your research and gain advice from the right sources- but then make up your mind on what feels right for you and your baby and stick to it! After all, no one knows your situation or your baby better than you do!

Yourself.

We’ve all heard the saying, “I’m my worst enemy” when it comes to self criticism. In my experience self condemning thoughts multiplied tenfold in the months after I had my son. When it would take me more than five minutes to realise he was actually hungry, I’d think- I’m a bad mother. Oh my God, he was far too hot in that jumper, he must have been really suffering- I’m a bad mother. I really shouldn’t have left him cry for those 60 seconds while I ran to take a pee- I’ve probably made the poor little guy feel insecure! I’m a bad mother. Why did I think it was a good idea to bring that blanket- he’s obviously too cold. What a bad mother I am!!

If any of these examples (or all of them) are ringing bells for you- believe me- I feel your pain and your are definitely not alone!! There’s no easy answer or one-step solution to that problem I’m afraid. Again, it’s a matter of learning to back yourself and don’t worry, the more you work on backing yourself- the easier it gets. This is simply because, as you find that your actions and thoughts turn out to be good ones- you’ll realise that you were right to trust your instincts and so are likely to have more confidence in your own thoughts and feelings next time.

Besides, no matter how scary and challenging you may be finding being a parent (especially if you’re a new one!) at the moment; as long as you’re loving your baby and giving them your best- I can guarantee you that you’re doing a much better job of being a Mum than you think you are.

So go on, start backing yourself and before you know it, you’ll boost your self confidence and also notice that your happiness levels will be on the rise!

Have a Happy Day,

Nicole

Happiness is Easy.

Hi There,

It’s so true that Happiness is a choice.

You don’t have to have the perfect life before you can be happy- all that you need is a slight adjustment in your outlook; instead of wasting countless hours focusing on all the things in your life that you would like to change- take a moment to appreciate all the many things that are wonderful about your life.

A wonderful saying that I love is- the pessimist only sees the thorns but can’t see the rose, while the optimist only sees the rose but can’t see the thorns.

They’re both there and just as real, but one’s beauty and fragrance will make you happy while the other will scratch and depress you.

So what are you focusing on in your life? The rose or the thorns?

Have a happy day!

Nicole

If You Could Have 1 Wish…

Hello,

I was thinking today how many things I want to accomplish at the moment and how little time I have to get them done!

That’s probably my biggest frustration as a mum- being time poor- if I had 1 wish, it would be to only need a couple of hours sleep a night so that I could catch up on all this ‘stuff’ I want to do instead of wasting time in sleep-mode.

So what is your biggest frustration in life at the moment? If you had 1 wish to make life easier- what would it be?

I’d love to hear from you,

Nicole

How to make a Happy Mum. The Recipe: Life Balance.

One of the best ways to ensure you’re happiness also tends to be one of the hardest things to attain. It’s called life balance.

Although as a Mum you’re doing your very best everyday to care and provide for your loved ones, it’s important to remember that you don’t move to superhero status when you become a Mum. What I mean by this is that you still have all the needs of every other human being on the planet. You need to feel loved, secure, fulfilled and you need a regular dose of ‘me time’ to pursue your own interests.

So right up there with the importance of having regular ‘date nights’ is the need to make sure you have at least one regular timeslot that’s just for you. Be it going to the gym, having lunch with a friend or just curling up with a good book on your own for a few while- ‘me time’ is very important. Mums who are given the opportunity to take these little breaks from the responsibilities and business of life feel much more fulfilled and content with their lives and so find they have the energy to give the best of themselves when they are with their families.

If you find that the idea of scheduling in some ‘me time’ makes you feel a bit guilty, I have a concept that will help. Think of it this way, investing in your wellbeing means you are better able to invest in your family’s wellbeing. After all, you can’t get very far in a car with a flat battery- so how can you expect to keep firing on all thrusters without a little recharge of your own every now and then? See, it makes perfect sense when you look at it that way!

You may actually be surprised to find that your partner is very happy to oblige as they are delighted to have the opportunity to get some one-on-one bonding time with your child/children without you hovering in the background telling them they are doing just about everything wrong (ok, so this may not apply to you- I’m thinking about what I tend to do to my poor partner at times!).

You guessed it; I’m going to get you to book that ‘me time’ in now. Go on, you know you want to!

And if you find that you’re partners response to your request for ‘me time’ is to tell you he needs ‘me time’ as well, that’s okay and fair enough- but he can have his time booked in for sometime after you’ve had your first ‘me timeslot’!